Two weeks from today will be the start line of Lapland 2022. I honor the day with a New York Road Runners 5-miler.

I have to laugh at myself. My body and my mind have become stubborn over the years and challenge me to take a fast walk into a run. There are just some days where I want to focus on the metronome of walking and the reminders of my time with Racing the Planet in the past. I still relish my personal achievement of 2017 Patagonia. I knew nothing when I went to that race. And I did not die. I learned a lot and found that I could persevere and adapt as I needed to. I returned in 2018 for Atacama to assure myself that it was not a fleeting lesson and something that would stick. My best lessons from those two races: the return back to reality with a clear head, a better sense of how to compartmentalize, and an embrace of minimalism.

So here I am. Older, with all the connotations that means wiser. Not as young, with all the connotations that my body aches and doesn’t quite rebound like it used to. And with the desire to see if I can do it yet again. The northern lights, incredible vistas of Finland, and knowing that this should be an easier check on my body with no sand dunes or high elevation. All of it delights me. But it still does not take away the fear. Training never seems to be enough. Did I do enough hours? Did I test my nutrition well enough? I suppose that is a tune the brain and soul of an artist knows as well. Always practicing, always trying to polish and make it better. At some point I just need to trust the process. And remember to enjoy the ride. Of that I have no doubt.

With such a close family member in the hospital dealing with a difficult cancer prognosis, I am reminded again how important every day is. I’m not waiting to accomplish those things you say you’ll do ‘one of these days.’ They must be one of these days so you have no regrets. I’m thankful for all the times I enacted that motto, and I remind myself that the time taken to see the northern lights, to push myself once again, will add to that smile when it is the last day.