I have pages of notes, thoughts, random scribbles that I am trying to interpret now that I am home – and as promised, sharing here.  As mentioned to me last night upon my arrival – “Your blog just stopped!”.  So, I guess I owe an explanation…..it was an amazing moment on Stage 4 – yes, one of many, but this was huge.  When one’s mind truly takes over and decides what the body will do, and what the next outcome will be. 

It was the end of a very long day, probably the most challenging for me on Stage 4.  It was an 11 hour 35 minute day for me….in unbelievable heat, terrain, salt flats.  At about 12 miles from camp, I hit the wall.  A BIG WALL, one that was probably seen  and heard from outer space as my body slammed in to it.  No gas in the gas tank – no will to trudge on – nothing, nada, pfffffft.  I dragged on and my thinking went from push push push to visions of a “W” next to my name indicating Withdrawn.  My conversations include words like “Atacama kicked my butt” and so on; you get the idea.  It made me sad, defeated – how could it all end at this moment and on this day…..

It was at that moment that I did something I have NEVER EVER done in my entire running career…..as a “meditation” runner who enjoys the sounds around me I don’t run with music and often have people look at me in disbelief when I share that.  Its just the way I am wired with so much “input” all day and night ever day in a NYC hyper way.  So my running remains the protected zone.  Well, I broke down at that “moment” when I was in such a deep hole and pulled out my iPhone.  I had to stare at it awhile to remember how to turn it on and work it — and after a week of being sick and losing my voice, I croaked out to Siri to help me; well, she gave me the finger and had no idea who I was, so she wasn’t into helping me.  Screw her.  Finally I tapped correctly and hit play, not knowing what the hell I had in there because I never use it for music.  I only hoped it wasn’t Barber’s Adagio for Strings, traditionally used for very sad moments; often death (!) – ha, would have been fitting for my curling up in a fetal position in the middle of the desert.  I don’t know how —- but my playlist of 1970’s Rock Songs blared out from the phone (no buds for me – hell, there wasn’t a living thing anywhere around me to bug!) — “Bye Bye Ms. American Pie” crooning away…..and that’s when it happened.  The sun began to set behind the clouds, the air immediately cooling…..my hands began to drum away, and I croaked out the lyrics.  My speed picked up, and as I did, with the wind beginning to whip around me, cooling my body, the most amazing rainbow appeared directly ahead of me.  Hell, I don’t know how or what happened – but I began to run, and wouldn’t you believe, I clipped 5 people who looked at me in shock as I passed yelling “Hola” and thumping to my music.  “American Woman” blaring as my theme song; The WHO, Led Zeppelin – all of my bad boy favorites energizing me forward.  What was an absolute hell turned in to a childhood memory of driving through the desert with my family – the windows rolled down on our VW van and the exact same music blaring as we sang along and breathed in the beautiful dry and warm air, except here I was on my feet and feeling on top of the world.  It was incredible.  Truly incredible.  Just as I was to turn in to camp following the happy pink flags that mark the trail, I saw that Mike from the US had missed the turn off.  My voice was 100% gone so I started clapping as loud as I could – applauding for him, applauding for me, and he actually heard me.  I waved him back my way and with much gratitude he joined as we headed down the final path to camp.  The energy was intoxicating because as we saw the finish line and people cheering us in to camp I started to sprint and coaxed Mike along to join me —- we laughed and cheered and crossed that damn finish line for Stage 4 as fast as we could – well before any cut off times, and with a strength that made me feel so alive and knowing that I had even more to give; that which would carry me through the remaining days of the race.  Incredible.  Mind over body.  It gives me chills just thinking of it – I will never forget that moment and am thankful for that incredible hole I was in that allowed me to gain such a height.  Here’s a photo of that amazing rainbow….one of 3 photos I personally took on the course (again, I don’t do that!  I revere the unplug and peacefulness).  I was so exhausted and exhilarated that night that I just wanted to be with people and shirked the cybertent which only had a few minutes for me anyhow.  That led to the Long March, and the incredible need to rest when I could……so here I am catching up if anyone is still reading now, or for the future!  (Thanks for doing so!)